Al - Bacteria

Living In Harmony

2006-10-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

One step for a man and a giant err, crawl for bacteriakind:
Yeah, were talking about how a single man helped bacteriakind achieve something in a big way. His name is Doodle-Poodle-Cracko-Doodle, living in Duckistan. He has become the first human to successfully live in harmony with bacteria kind, having been host to close to 5 trillion bacteria. More people like him are required for society to progress.
A group foto having Mr. Doodle and the bacteria:

Way Ahead In Evolution

2006-10-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Just a recent scientific study to show how we bacteria are centuries ahead of mankind in evolution:

Croatian scientists have worked out how a radiation-resistant bacterium that can exist in extreme conditions repairs damage to itself, a discovery that could provide clues about diseases such as cancer. The organism called Deinococcus Radiodurans is so hardy it can survive ionizing radiations 5000 times stronger than the level lethal to humans.

“Through evolution, the bacteria have developed a mechanism to precisely reconstruct their cell structure once the radiation stopped. For many years this has been a scientific riddle”, Ksenija Zahradka, a leading researcher in the study, told the news conference. “It is an extremely fascinating phenomenon to see how a cell itself can repair its fairly destroyed DNA. We will use this knowledge to try and find way how cells that are not so resistant could do the same.”

The scientists, whose findings were reported online by the journal Nature, described the two-stage method in which the bacterium rebuilds its genome.

Many diseases, including cancer, involve alterations to DNA and an inability to recover from the damage. “Therefore, any understanding of self-repair mechanisms could help in that regard. Now we will focus to see if there are other organisms which can do the same,” Mr. Zahradka said.

Deinococcus Radiodurans which means strange berry that withstands radiation, was discovered 50 years ago in a can of spoilt meat. It can survive in deserts or on other surfaces exposed to strong heat.

This is just ONE of our species. Hope humans get the idea of what can be expected from us if our demands aren’t met. The world cannot bear another war of the scale of X-MEN 3. And there won’t BE any X-MEN to save you this time.

MBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Spreading the Charm of "Be a Bacteria Day"

2006-10-10T04:15:00.000-07:00

The "Be a Bacteria Day" was celebrated today, for those of you who do not know what be a bacteria day is all about, its a day during which non-bacterians practise the joy of being and acting like a bacteria for a day. There was an overwhelming result for the event.
This Guy down below takes it his vital responsibility to ahem...

There were more miniscule happenings going on, but due to technical problems we were not able to record them

HeyMan's First Threat

2006-10-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

Following is HeyMan All Jabber&Hurry’s first threat:
“We order all the nations of the world to immediately close down all Medical schools that train doctors and those scientific facilities that conduct research against our brothers. Great injustices have been done to our ancestors in the name of treatment and research.
Our brothers have been isolated, torn apart and have been used as research tools, would you enjoy it if somebody cut apart your body parts and examined them? If you fail to heed this decree, we shall fight you in the land, in the air and in the sea. Rivers of Blood shall flow. We invite our Virus Brothers to join us against this fight for survival against the Crusaders of Science & Medicine. Release all bacterians and give us our land. It is either Bacteriastan or Blood. If you havent reslised the fact about what happens if the bacteria do not co-operate with human kind. Consider this, no bacteria working= no decomposition, no decomposition=stench, stench=sirt, all these processes will slowly lead to disintegration of human kind. If you want to have an idea of what we are talking about, mix a rotten egg with vinegar, unspirited wine, lime juice which has been kept in the open for 3 days and smell the mixture, that is the kind of stench we are talking about”

Flash News: New Spokesman for Al Bacteria

2006-10-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

Flash News
The Al Bacteria organization has nominated one of our supporters, HeyMan All Jabber&Hurry, as official spokesman for the organization. All official communications or threats henceforth will be issued through him. HeyMan All Jabber&Hurry has spent years in the cause of Bacteriastan and is part of the senior leadership of our organization. He headed the research and espionage rings of the albacteria for quite some time. He was the first person to successfully isolate a bacteria from sludge and muck. While heading the espionage ring of the Al - Bacteria, he was the person who brought in the pioneering change that the best hiding place for bacterian spies would be behind toilet closets(potty's). Ever heard of the term, successful ideas erupt only when you are errrm, you know where....

What the girl says about the peanut butter sandwich hijack episode

2006-10-06T04:19:00.000-07:00

Refer to: THIS

The girl who's peanut butter sandwich was hijacked and chopped up recently in a very secret fax message to the Al - Bacteria, said this:

"Thank you little germs for chopping up my sandwich, i was finding it very hard to cut it, you cut it up for me and this will make it easier for me to eat it. Once again, thank you!!! you are so sweet"

Inspiring a Whole generation

2006-10-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

Time for pardy!!! the Al - Bacteria movement has just attracted 1000 people in 6 days, hurray!!

We are no Foley

2006-10-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

This is a warning to all those who do not take ur seriously, we really mean what we say. Since we didnt get any positive feedback from world goverments,
The Peanut butter Sandwich which was once like this:

Is now like this:

We are no foley
Prepare to get terrorised!!!

Nostradamus Predictions about Al - Bacteria

2006-10-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Nostradamus Predictions about Al - Bacteria

Secret excerpts and the writings of Nostradamus in his book "Centuries" suggests the following about the Bacteria Ruling the World:

excerpt 1:123

"And they the invisible pirates shall strike hard upon humans and come to be known as Al Bac-treo, they shall demand man not to clear up shit and garbage"

excerpt 1:143

"They shall march in their army of trillions into Neya-York and loot all the trash cans"

excerpt 1:156

"They shall have sympathy towards the janitors and the trash collectors, and shall push back man to the edge of Easter"

excerpt 1:179

"They shall create a nation out of scratch and make it unmatchable, this nation shall have flies breeding everywhere, swine running amok and free, they shall take it their pristine duty to make sure the excreta of all animals is not put to waste"

excerpt 1:234

"Miniscule vermin wild with hunger will cross the rivers,
The greater part of the battle will be against Man kind
They will cause great men to be dragged in a cage of iron,
When the son of man obeys no law.Garden of the world near Bacteriastan"

excerpt 1:254

"In the path of the Vermin,
It will be seized and plunged into Easter ,
Drinking by force the waters poisoned by ammonia."

excerpt 1:282

"The dart from the sewer will make its extension,
Germs speaking: great expulsion.
The fly on the rotten apple, the proud nation created,
Noise, dirt monster, purge expiation. "

Even the Great Philosopher knows that the future belongs to the bacteria :)

Behind Every Successful man there is a bacteria!!

2006-10-01T00:57:00.000-07:00

Just to show how much bacteria has helped man, we are showcasing how behind every succesfull man there is a bacteria!

Abe Lincoln:

Julius Ceasar:

Bill Gates:

Mr. Nerdyman

Taking up Responsibility

2006-09-30T02:26:00.000-07:00

We take up responsibility for a recent happening in Dallas, Texas where there was a huge furore because a girl had lost her peanut butter sandwich. We were the ones who hijacked the sandwich and we will not return it unless/until our demands are met. We give the world's goverments some time to consider the offer , they have 5 days time and if we do not have some positive feedback they can only see the peanut butter sandwich in chops......

The Logic Behind our Demands

2006-09-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

The Logic Behind our demands:

There is a logic behind our demands, we do not demand something just like that.
Consider this, the total population of human beings in the world is 6 billion.
The population of bacteria per meter is a few million, let us take it as 50 million.
The Total Circumfrence of the earth is 924,375,700 km
Therefore the total number of bacteria in the world is 5000000*1000*924375700
which is equal to 4621878500000000000.
So dividing the population of humans by bacterians, we come to the single conclusion that if humans and all other animals were to get easter island, the bacteria deserve the rest of the world.
Aint it logical?

Our Demands

2006-09-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

Our demands are simple and reasonable....
We just ask for what is rightfully ours.
So here is goes:
We want to create a country called bacteriastan where all the bacteria will live in peace, this country will comprise of Asia, Africa ,Europe, North America, South America, Antartica and Australia

PS: The others can have the whole of Easter Island

We are being reasonable here....

About Us

2006-09-29T00:14:00.000-07:00

We are not terrorists, we are freedom fighters and bacteria rights activists. How long will we the bacteria stay calm as millions of innocent bacteria are killed everyday? We are here just to put a full stop to that.
We condemn all those involved in flushing their toilets, cleaning their stinky socks, and clearing the garbage as all these processes create death to millions of bacteria.
We suggest alternative methods, like not flushing closets, wearing stinky socks and living in a dumpster. If these attrocities against our fellow bacterians continue, we will be forced to hijack paper planes and propell them towards ur buildings
A few facts about our organisation:

Strength : 1000000/mm cube
Based at : Everywhere including below your mouse pad
Headed by: Dust Bin Ladenteria

We will not stop until our goal is achieved, this is a final warning....